Male sexual abuse is a subject that will probably make some of you uncomfortable.
Obviously it must make many people uncomfortable, at any rate, because while
we hear on the news that women are raped or sexually assaulted, we never hear
about men who are raped or sexually assaulted.
But they are.
No doubt you're aware of the statistics for adult female sexual abuse: 1 out of every 3 women will experience some form of sexual molestation. What we do not hear is that 1 out of every 7 adult men are sexually assaulted (this is a very conservative estimate - some professionals estimate that as many as 1 out of every 5 men are sexually assaulted).
Men rape men.
In the USA. In Africa. In England. In Germany.
The rape of men, just as in the rape of women, does not know race, creed, or geography.
What kind of people are these men who rape men? you are no doubt asking yourself. They must be homosexual, you are perhaps thinking.
Wrong.
Heterosexual men rape . . . heterosexual men.
We women are repeatedly told that rape is not about sex, it's about power.
Men rape men not for sexual gratification, but because of the power or 'control' it gives them. Historically, a man who was raped lost his "manhood," and could no longer be a ruler or a warrior. How times don't change. Except for one, that is: the rape of men was recognized in history; modern society does not acknowledge its existence.
The rape of a man is generally defined as:
1. Anal penetration, either by a penis, a finger, or an object; and, or
2. Oral penetration by a penis.
I was surprised to learn that some states in America do not recognize male rape at all. Rape in these states is defined as vaginal penetration; ergo, a man cannot be raped because he doesn't have a vagina. The rape of a man in these states must be tried under the Sodomy laws.
Very few cases are brought to court.
Very few men seek help when they are raped.
Many men, just as women, blame themselves, believing they somehow encouraged their rapist. Men - like women - are afraid that others will believe they 'enjoyed' being raped. Often an erection and/or ejaculation will be experienced by men during sexual assault. This is not because they 'enjoy' it. Erection and ejaculation are involuntary physiological reactions that have nothing to do with pleasure.
This inability to differentiate between ejaculation and orgasm causes much pain and confusion in survivors of rape. Just as it did in Gabriel in my book Gabriel's Woman.
I was amazed at the thousands of websites dedicated to men who have survived rape and sexual abuse - testament of just how prevalent it is. Below are a couple of sites that I found extremely informative.
The National Center for Victims of Crime